If you have been referred for EMDR therapy — or are considering it — you may be wondering what it actually involves. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can sound unusual from the outside, and not knowing what to expect can make it feel more daunting than it needs to be.
The good news: EMDR is a structured, evidence-based therapy, and most people find it feels quite different from what they imagined.
The First Session Is Usually Not Trauma Processing
Many people expect to dive straight into difficult memories in their first session. In practice, EMDR follows a careful eight-phase protocol, and the first session — or even the first few sessions — is focused on history-taking and preparation. Your therapist will want to understand your background, what brings you to therapy, and what you are hoping to work through. They will also explain how EMDR works and answer your questions.
You will not be asked to revisit painful memories before you feel ready, and a good EMDR therapist will never push you faster than your nervous system can handle.
Learning to Feel Safe First
Before any trauma processing begins, your therapist will help you build what are called resourcing skills — grounding techniques and calming strategies you can use during and between sessions. These might include breathing exercises, visualization of a safe place, or other tools that help your nervous system settle when it gets activated.
This preparation phase is not just a formality. It is genuinely important. EMDR works by allowing your brain to reprocess difficult material, and having stable footing makes that process safer and more effective.
What the Bilateral Stimulation Actually Looks Like
When you do begin processing, your therapist will guide you through sets of bilateral stimulation — typically eye movements (following the therapist’s fingers or a light bar), tapping on your knees, or audio tones alternating between ears. This bilateral stimulation is what allows the brain to process stuck memories in a new way.
You will be asked to briefly hold a memory in mind while the stimulation is happening, then pause and notice what comes up — thoughts, body sensations, emotions, images. You do not need to analyze or explain anything in depth. Your therapist will guide you through the process.
You Stay in Control the Whole Time
One of the most important things to know about EMDR: you are in the driver’s seat. You can stop at any point, and you will not be asked to share more than you are comfortable sharing. The processing happens internally — your therapist does not need to know every detail of your memory for EMDR to be effective.
If you’re curious about whether EMDR might be right for you, I’d love to talk it through. Madeleine Sullivan offers a free consultation at her Victoria, BC practice and works with clients online throughout British Columbia. Get in touch — I’m happy to answer your questions before you commit to anything.